Hide and Seek
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "Somewhere deep down a part of him wanted to step in, to tell her to take better care of herself because it was no fun knowing that she was slowly degrading alone when he was the one who wanted to be the architect of her down fall." - What Basderic saw while he had been stalking Sara.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all- wondered what Basderic saw while he was stalking Sara?

This story is just my interpretation of the events I thought had transpired- I hope you enjoy it- please review.

I'm sorry I haven't been very good at replying to reviews recently- I keep convincing myself I'll do it and then forgetting! University is hectic at the moment; I have a lot of dissertation research and revision to be doing.

I'm also sorry for my very inconsistent updates on my other stories- I promise I will try and get myself together soon but this idea was playing on my mind so I decided to just go with it!

Again- please review- I love hearing what you all think of my stories.

Disclaimer: I own zlich

**Hide and Seek **

It was one of those nights where the heat seemed to seep through everything in its way as it flooded the city like the sense of regret. The full moon loomed over in the dark skies as occasional clouds passed by; a tragic beauty to be ignored by most. But as he took a deep breath of the dusty air he felt a sense of awe at the universe. His watch told him that it wasn't long now- that she would be home from work at any moment.

It felt bizarre to him watching her live her life- he didn't care for her- she wasn't someone he wanted to be close to. But still he had watched her get ready for work that morning; run, shower, barely eaten breakfast, and a smoke. It was a routine she had perfected over the years he guessed. Somewhere deep down a part of him wanted to step in, to tell her to take better care of herself because it was no fun knowing that she was slowly degrading alone when he was the one who wanted to be the architect of her down fall.

There had only been a few hours of her day that he had seen but it was already clear to him that she was isolated. She had a dark look in her eye; a sense of sadness that refused to abandon her gaze despite the clear skies or the bright morning light. He guessed that he should have felt sorry for her but he didn't. When he looked at her all he saw was a reminder of what he had lost. The words she had spat at him in anger still were burned into the forefront of his memory.

The sound of a car engine coming to a halt and a door slamming informed him that it was time to pay attention. She appeared through the front door, throwing her bag down, before collapsing on the sofa. She looked exhausted. Her whole body relying on the piece of furniture to hold her up as she rested her head in her hands.

As she took a deep breath he could see the tears that were lingering on her cheeks, glistening in the dim light as she tried to regain control of the sorrow that had consumed her. It was their wedding anniversary- he knew that. He had been paying attention to her emails- the message she had sent wishing her husband a happy anniversary. She hadn't gotten a reply. The voicemail she'd left him hadn't either.

He wondered what it was that had kept her spouse so distracted, so distant from her. Perhaps there was another woman?

The thought made him smile.

She pulled herself to her feet, taking her hair down in the process, the messy curls falling to her shoulders. She looked broken. Wiping away the tears from beneath her eyes she stood still in the centre of the living room floor, her hands curled up into fists at her sides her attempt to be defiant and resist the temptation to break down. She hated being vulnerable.

It was clear enough from a distance. He was almost certain that there were childhood stories behind her anger and anguish. Her temper, the darkness that seemed to surround her, must have come from somewhere. He attempted to imagine the stories that lingered in the dark corners of her childhood bedroom, the secrets her stuffed animals and dolls had kept as she went through the simple motions of living. After all of these years she still had to convince herself that she was okay. She'd struggled to get to where she was only to look around and realise that things ever once again turning to ashes.

He wondered if deep down she thought that she was the problem, that in every situation that the common denominator was her.

It was a reasonable conclusion- he decided. When you're the only person left standing after every storm you weather what else could there be?

But he was certain that he could break her down more than she had ever imagined was possible. He was sure he could push her to the edge and perhaps even further because despite every want she was as readable and as predictable as the next person. She lived in routines.

She poured herself a glass of wine, sitting at the kitchen table staring into the dark liquid in the delicate glass as if searching for answers. In front of her she had lined up the bottle, her gun and her phone. A feeling of excitement flooded his body for mere moments before he realised it would have not been satisfying to see her end it herself.

She needed to be punished- she needed to see was wrong. He wanted to look her in the eye as she finally accepted that everything that was going to happen to her had been her fault. He had tried to take Edie away from him, she had blamed him for the death of the woman he loved and for that he wanted more than an apology.

She probably didn't image that their life could become lonelier, more isolated or more miserable than it was in that moment but he would show her that there was so far she still had left to fall before she hit rock bottom. He thought about her tragic beauty when she finally reached it and the satisfaction he would feel knowing that he had been responsible for having crafted the perfect demise.

The wine from her first glass quickly disappeared and instead of leaving it at that she poured herself another, checking her phone despite the knowledge that there would be nothing there. She was fooling herself into thinking there would.

It didn't take her long to finish the bottle- but as she stood up and began moving about her house he could see it had no effect upon her. She was a seasoned drinker- the bottle of red was just a starter in these situations.

As he watched her disappear into the bathroom he wondered how long she had been like this- how long she had simply just accepted and lived with the depression.

It wasn't too long before she reappeared, a towel wrapped tightly around her body, her eyes red rimmed. The towel disappeared as she got dressed, her naked body in clear view of the window. But all he could think to do was shake his head at how unaware she was of how easy it was to get into the garden, to peep through the glass she was convinced wasn't viewable by others.

Placing a cigarette between her lips she opened the sliding door she settled herself down, casting her eyes over the darkness her long legs stretching on to the grass her bare feet pressed against the earth. The smoke clouded his view of her face but he could tell she was fighting away the tears that she seemed to always suppress. But not for long leaning her head against the door frame she let it all go attempting to let the night absorbed the ache that seemed to persist with every beat of her heart.

Standing the shadows he found himself nauseated by the sight of her crumbling before him- he'd seen enough.

For that night at least.


	2. Chapter 2

Set post 'It was a good year' – I hope you enjoy it – review- let me know what you think- if you want more, or want me to stop!

**Hide and Seek**

**(2)**

He carefully made his way down the path, watching his feet as he stepped over the cracks in the concrete. The cool morning air flooding the streets, clouds appear in the bright skies. She was probably still asleep. Her exhausted body reluctant to embrace the day as another almost sleepless night wore on. The postman ahead of him shuffled through the letters in his hand making sure they were the right address he was standing in front off.

"You can just give those to me" He smiled at the postman. "I'm just about to head inside" There was a slight hesitation before the man placed the letters in his out stretched hand. He watched as the postman disappeared around the corner before making to the gate to the back garden moving towards what had become his spot.

She was sprawled across the bed, one arm dangling of the side, her fingertips grazing the floor. It was as if in the middle of the night she had reached out for something, someone only to find that there was no one there and remained like that till she had fallen asleep. He glanced down at the letters in his hand noting that they were all addressed to Sara Sidle- she hadn't taken her husband's last name.

It wasn't uncommon he guessed- but he was almost certain that she had insisted in remaining the woman she had been before their marriage. Perhaps it had caused a fight. Perhaps Grissom had simply just accepted her for the way she was. He wondered if their distance had been less of an accident than it appeared on the surface.

She couldn't have been happy- spending all of these nights sleeping alone, wondering where he was the times he didn't answer his phone. His short abrupt emails were probably starting to wear on. Being lonely couldn't have been what she had chosen but still here she was.

He tucked the letters into the inside pocket of his jacket as she stirred the alarm on the nightstand ringing throughout the small house. She pulled herself up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, her head in her hands as the day seemed to slowly sink in.

Pulling herself to her feet she disappeared into the bathroom; her hair in a tangled mess as she pulled it into an elastic band. This time when she reappeared after having showered he didn't look away from her naked body in embarrassment or disgust- he hadn't decided which one. He studied her form with his carefully analytical gaze.

She was thin- beneath her clothes her body seemed to shrink in size. He presumed the meals she had skipped had been responsible for that. Strange scars marked up her pale skin in places that were certain to be covered by clothes. He wondered what she had done to invoke such anger in another human being that they had decided to leave a permanent reminder on her body. He wondered what she saw when faced with the battle scars every day.

He wondered if she had learnt to accept them and the stories they told if she still found her heart jumping into her throat at the memoires they stirred up.

Perhaps it was those memories that kept her up at night. The feeling of dread and distress that be companions of the darkness but now a days she had no one there to remind her that it was different, that she was fine.

The person that had protected her had gone and in the end she was alone.

She moved into the kitchen, making breakfast but only taking a few sips of the coffee before giving up her attempt at eating. As she peered out of the window he wanted more than anything for her to see him standing there watching her. He imagined the look of horror on her face as she realised he'd managed to become a part of her life; that once again she had become victimized.

But she didn't notice him. Her eyes were lost searching the skies for rain clouds or something more tangible.

Despite the dissatisfaction he realised that this was for the best; there was still so much he wanted to find out about her before he could end the game. She would know sooner or later that he had been watching her and following her just like had done to the other woman. But she was different. He wanted something different from her.

He didn't love her, not like he loved Edie- he was almost certain he wouldn't love anyone as much as he had loved Edie.

She returned to the bedroom making the bed, tidying her belongings as if they were going to be inspected, studying the room with a sense of sadness before moving away. She disappeared out of the front door- grabbing her things on the way out leaving her house empty.

When she returned that night, much to his surprise, she wasn't alone. Beside her a man followed through the front door with a smile; six foot, sandy blonde hair, broad shoulders, wearing a suit missing a tie. He was talking animatedly as she simply nodded. It was clear from her expression she was humouring him- simply thankful for the company.

He opened his bag producing a record before handing her the bottle of wine he had been indicating for her to pour the drinks while he set up the record player. She returned with two glasses filled with the deep red liquid watching him in amusement as he turned up the volume.

It was the first time he had seen her smile in the past two days. It was a genuine smile, a warm smile, a smile that confessed more than she would have wanted to speak. He indicated for her to sit down and without a word in disagreement she did.

He let her rest her feet on his lap, kneading them comfortingly as they spoke. Soon enough the wine had disappeared and he had opened another bottle for the two of them while she lay still on the sofa. This man was in love with her- it was plain to see. He found himself shaking his head as they continued drinking. How could she not notice the way his feelings were pinned to his chest, in his gaze, and almost on his lips.

The younger man abruptly got to his feet offering her his hand and for a moment it was as if she would decline. Despite her reluctance she let him pull her to her feet. It was unclear what was happening, his stomach tying into knots wondering if he was about to watch adultery unfold. But instead he observed

as they slowly danced, their arms tangled around each other in the centre of the living room floor.

She rested her head against his shoulder, pressing her eyes tightly shut, relying on him to support her weight. His fingers gently stroked her hair as he muttered into her ear, holding on to her as if to trying to absorb her pain. But in the end she pulled away, shaking her head, wrapping her arms around herself.

She hated being weak- she hated letting herself be vulnerable in front of him and his attempts at supporting her were only making her feel worse.

Pinching the bridge of her nose- she made an excuse to tell him to go; a headache. But for a moment he watched her worried realising she wouldn't stop pushing him away. Taking a step towards her, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, the physical contact making her visibly shiver. Picking up his bag and record he disappeared leaving her once again alone.

He wondered if it had been her guilt that had pushed him out of the door- the feeling that she had been doing something wrong while her husband was away.

Perhaps she felt that the younger, good looking man should have been holding her like that, muttering in her ear, touching her in that way. Maybe it had been the temptation she had felt to lead him by the hand to her bed, to the place she had found herself feeling alone.

Or maybe it was after all the fear that someone else would know how unhappy she had let herself become.


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you all like it- please review- I wrote this chapter then changed my mind about it and then wrote it all over again! I'm going insane- I hope you all enjoy it!

**Hide and Seek**

**(3)**

The smell of coffee seemed to seep into her pores as she stood waiting; tall latte, no sugar, and an extra espresso shot he noted. His perfectly clear eyes focused on the news paper tapping the pen in his hand against the table pretending to do the cross word. She hadn't noticed him sitting barely a few feet away from her, nervously glancing down at her hands, twisting her wedding ring repeatedly around her finger. Her hair was tied up in a pony tail, a gym bag slung casually over her shoulder.

It was her day off and from watching her in the morning he realised she was struggling to find things to do with her time. Being stuck in an empty house for the day hadn't seemed like a good option after she had finished scrubbing every surface she could find. It was oddly therapeutic seeing her clean he realised. Over the past few days her house had been overrun with mess; empty bottles of wine, take out boxes and clothes strewn about the place.

He had wanted to go inside- clean for her- the gathering dust had made his skin crawl as he had watched it collect almost undetectably over her things.

It also struck him that it was nice to see her outside- away from her house, work and all of the other comfort zones she had created. In the real world he could see her wavering confidence; how she would shy away from attention. Without make up it was obvious to see just how many sleepless nights she had been attempting to ignore. Despite this she seemed to draw in attention from men that she passed by on the street who would attempt to seek her intense gaze.

But as she stood waiting for her coffee, her eyes focused on the screen of her phone he wondered what it was they found so appealing about her.

He had heard it enough times- _they can always spot the broken ones. _And despite all of her want to forget the bricks that had built her the stories were etched into her pale skin and dark eyes remained firmly in place. Without wanting to be- she was fragile. All of these years fighting the very thing she had let herself become.

It was the sound of a couple fighting barely feet away from her that caught her attention forcing her to look up and face the world. Sara turned her attention to the couple, her gaze settling on the tense atmosphere between them. He could see her body stiffen as she studied the woman's features carefully as if reading her history.

The man had a strong hold over his wife's arm; his nails visibly digging into her skin as he hissed words at her. The panic and the attempt to control her response were observable even from the other side of the room where he sat. It was an encounter carefully being watched on by the other people there, no one of them brave enough to do anything to stop the situation unfolding.

Their morbid fascinating forcing them to keep watching as the argument unfolded before them like a story from a soap opera.

Sara placed her phone in her pocket taking the few steps that were required- standing between the couple. She was almost as tall as him and as she readjusted her feet she could look him directly in the eye. Despite barely being able to hear the things that she was saying, he could see her firm words leaving a dent in the air.

He found his heart swelling with a strange sort of satisfaction as he saw the way she unflinchingly offered herself up as a target for a stranger. She barely reacted to the threats he offered her staying in place with a vacant expression.

She had been faced with such anger before; it was more than obvious. Her father perhaps- he took note on the newspaper before him so that he wouldn't forget to continue familiarising himself with her background; the things that made her tick.

Another stranger stepped in pulling her out of the line of fire when it appeared as if the situation would escalate. The aggressor's fingers curled up into fists at his side as he studied her expression as if looking for a bluff. But intervention had forced him to break eye contact. As the couple disappeared through the doors in the world again, he could see the anger shiver through her body.

The man slowly following her back to the spot she had previously been waiting in. He was watching her like a hawk taking in every curve of her body from her head to her toes as she placed her hands on her hips exhaling. It was the way he had seen other men looking at her. He finally spoke, something that caught her attention.

She frowned- shaking her head- indicating to the ring around her finger despite the lack of meaning it seemed to hold in her everyday life. He didn't seem, put off by her status just shrugging his shoulders indicating to the counter where their coffees were waiting for them; most likely already cold by now. The discomfort was clear as he tried to entice her step out of the boundaries she knew.

He felt a wave of possessive feelings washing over him as he attempted to remain in the corner where she couldn't see him.

She wasn't anyone else's to control, build, or break. She was his.

And this man wasn't allowed to make her feel uncomfortable, attempt to get beneath her clothes, beneath her skin. But she showed little interest ignoring him as he gazed at her starry eyed, doing all he could to stop his hands from wandering despite their clear want.

His scrubs and white coat giving his profession away, his attempts at impressing her by indicating to the stethoscope around his neck seemed completely redundant but still he tried. She smiled politely, her lips firmly pressed together as she attempted to figure out how to get past him and leave.

He wanted to step in. He wanted to tell him to back off. It wasn't his place to be trying to sweep her off her feet (even if it was just for one night). She was a married woman after all, she had made a commitment to someone else and that meant something no matter how lonely she found herself at night.

She indicated to the door, pulling her gym bag further up her shoulder, clutching her coffee tighter before walking away. He watched her go, tilting his head slightly to check her out not bothering to hide his vulgar desires.

It was disgusting.

The doctor remained in the coffee shop getting himself a fresh cup of coffee, his hands in his pockets as he looked around for other unwitting targets for his advances.

With a small sigh he folded his news paper tucking it beneath his arm making his way towards the door. As he walked his feet purposely forced him to collide into the other man – the coffee in his hand slipping across his crisp white coat.

"Dude, watch where you're going" He said with a frown attempting to soak up the coffee with paper towels. His attempts were in vain, the stains would not disappear from the material just like that.

He met the man's eye and instead of the apology he had been expected to give; he muttered, caustically into his ear.

"_She's mine. You shouldn't have talked to her like that." _


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the slow update! Enjoy- review- let me know what you think!

**Hide and Seek**

**(4)**

The smell of honeysuckle and lavender filled the air as dusty dry heat spread across the gravel like shadows. A slight breeze had passed by every so often saving those stuck in the sun from losing all hope in comfort. He unzipped his jacket slowly letting it slip from his shoulders as he glanced out of the diver's side window. She was standing in the glare of the sun, beads of sweat glistening on her pale skin as she cleaned out the inside of her car. From the bags of rubbish that had gathered by the side of the drive way he sensed that it had been a long time since she had done it. With her head phones in she was completely unaware of the world slowly changing around her. She was unaware of his car parked merely a few feet away hidden beneath the shadows of shrubbery.

Even if she had done he was well within his rights to be parked there. She paused, pulling herself up resting her hands on her hips frowning at the mess that had taken over her drive way. It was easy enough to see the exhaustion that had painted itself over her features. Her shorts crept up her thighs as she stretched her arms above her head pulling her hair undone before fixing it in place once more. Despite his expectations she went back to work not stopping despite the clear want to.

She always pushed herself too far. She always tried to do more than she was capable of. He imagined it had been what had gotten her into this point in her career. She hadn't let her obviously abusive background get in the way of the things she had wanted from her life. Professionally at least that was the case. Her personal life was a different story. Finishing as quickly as she could make herself she disappeared inside but it wasn't long after that she reappeared ready for work. But the fact she wouldn't be there didn't matter because he had a plan.

Leaning back in his seat he watched as her car disappeared off into the distance, turning the corner becoming invisible. He wondered if she worried that she was slowly becoming invisible; absent from her own life. Perhaps she worried that if she disappeared no one would care. He tried to picture her funeral after he was done with her- who would have come to pay their last respects but all that came to mind was an empty church.

Lifting the bouquet of flowers he had chosen for the occasion he made his way toward her neighbour's house casting one down the street to make sure that she hadn't reappeared. He knocked on the door taking a deep breath running through his plan once more. The heat seared his skin but he attempted to ignore it knowing that he had to been comfortable, confident for this to work.

"Hello" a frail elderly lady opened the door, frowning at him from behind thick framed glasses attempting to recognise his features. She met his eyes, quickly looking away the crystal clear blue gaze making her shiver slightly. She probably was worried he was a con artist, a thief and all of those other terrible things.

"Hello, Mrs Barnes" he smiled attempting to put her mind at ease.

"How do you know my name?" She pressed her lips together checking the road to see if anyone else was around, her fingers clinging tighter to the front door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself properly. I'm Grissom, Gil Grissom, Sara's husband" He indicated to the wedding band he had slipped onto his finger and the house next door to where they were standing.

"It's nice to finally meet you" She beamed finally relaxing letting go of the door. "I was beginning to think she had made that husband of hers up to stop me setting her up with my grandson...no offence intended of course!"

"None taken" He shrugged, lifting his hands up in submission. "I have been away a lot"

"She misses you, she thinks I don't notice but I do." She said insightfully with a sigh. It occurred to him that Sara didn't think anyone noticed how lonely she was but it was painted in her expression.

"Work has been very busy..." He paused running his tongue over his lip attempting to look as if he was pondering the predicament his marriage was in. "But I'm going to try and fix things. But I could really use your help."

"I'm not sure what is I can do" Mrs Barnes raised her eyebrows at him with a confused expression.

"I've been rather foolish and left my key at my office, and I was hoping to surprise Sara when she got home... I was wondering if I could borrow the spare key she gave you" He explained forcing the correct intonation.

"Oh...I see. Well...she told me not to give it to anyone..." She shook her head slowly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know... I promise I'll return it before I leave" He sighed meeting her eye. "I just want to do right by my wife."

"Well okay..." She gave in turning to walk find the key on the small table by the door. "You look after Sara, she's a good woman"

"I know..." He smiled, the thought sickening him slightly. He took a moment to admire the feel of the cool metal against his palm as he stood at her door. Behind the glass and the wood was the place that held every aspect of her life. All the small things she had collected over the years were in the space.

He stepped inside taking in the heavy scent of lavender as he looked at the furniture that made the house. Her taste wasn't too bad he guessed as he studied the dark colours that seemed to frame the atmosphere. He wondered if her husband liked it or simply just tolerated it. After all he was hardly there and why bothering fighting with her?

There were photos of them spread across the walls; covering the surfaces- perhaps she needed the images as a reminder that she was still married- that the ring on her finger meant something. He had seen her fiddle with it and stare at is as she took it off before bed.

Her bookshelf contained a cross section of books about forensics, criminology and philosophy. Despite her obvious efforts it didn't feel like a home. From the way she was living it was more like a hotel room; somewhere for a short term stay. It was almost as if she was prepared to leave. Maybe she had been waiting on a call from her husband- a sign to tell her she was needed somewhere else. And that, after all of these years she had a home, somewhere she belonged.

But that call hadn't come. They had simply just drifted further apart but she hadn't let go of the pride she let surround her heart remaining in the life she lived rather than admitting defeat.

He slowly made his way into the bedroom; his eyes casting overly the neatly made bed, the books stacked up on her nightstand. Perching himself down he opened the drawer carefully realising that this was the place she probably hid many of her secrets while her husband was away.

He lifted her journal up- flicking through the pages taking in the scrawled writing as if reading a novel. Her soul splattered across the pages in honesty that could drown anyone who dared to explore it. But for some reason he couldn't see past her wrongs.

But for some strange reason the need for closure, for revenge, burnt deep in the pits of his stomach despite her tragic tale.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello everyone- I planned on updating a while ago but then spilt a bottle of water over my laptop and had to give it a few days to dry out. It's working; we can only hope that it keeps working!

I'm sick as hell at the moment and slightly delusional but I hope it doesn't affect this chapter too much- enjoy. Review and let me know what you think!

**Hide and Seek **

**(5) **

He carefully placed the journal back inside the drawer taking a look around the bedroom. Case files were scattered about on the dresser amongst, evidence of the times work had been nothing but her companion at night. There were most likely times when she thought to herself that her job was all she had. And maybe it was true. Her inability to form comfortable relationships with people, her need to distance herself from vulnerability and the pathological fear that one day everyone would leave her she tried so hard to hide all of those things has pushed anyone who cared, anyone who wanted to care.

Picking up the clock on her bedside cabinet he paused for a few moments listening to the sound of the ticking as it filled his ears. He'd always found it strange how that sound is constantly there in your everyday life but how you seem to ignore it. How it only seems to register in your mind when you listen for it. It was a sad reminder that with every one of the movement of the hands you were getting closer and closer to the end.

He wondered if she would find herself searching her memory, looking towards her future wondering when everything would fall into place. If only she knew the hell that was going to befall her. All of the things he wished he could do. But patience had been something he had learnt over the years through every new obsession. His fingers found the dial on the back of the clock slowly sifting the time backwards but a few minutes. It was almost unnoticeable. If she glanced at it she wouldn't realise.

He carefully adjusted the time on all of the clocks and devices in her house feeling a strange sensation of satisfaction sinking in. It seemed like an odd thing to be pleased with but in fact it was the little things that would get under her skin; being late, the misplaced items and the lost post. He could already imagine her standing with her hands curled up into fists, a frown furrowing her brow as she attempted to figure out what was happening.

She was an angry person. He had already witnessed her snap during the Frank's Diner case. And he wanted to push her further. He wanted to see how every small, irritating thing grated on her. See all of the rage she tried to suppress slowly building up until there was nothing she could do but let it all out in a poorly thought out way.

He opened her wardrobe moving each individual item of clothing aside having carefully studied it. The dark colours were overwhelming it was as if she was constantly in mourning. He pulled a silk scarf lose from all the times gathered at the back- the things she had done her best to ignore. It had beautiful drawn birds covering the pale turquoise material. It was most likely a gift from her husband- something she had smiled and accepted but secretly disliked.

It was delicate, elegant. It was all of the things her mother in law probably wished she would be. The things her husband would pretend he didn't care too much for while she was around but secretly would wish he could implement changes in his wife. Her sharp tongue, her smoking and her drinking habits probably made him feel insecure. After all there he was a refined older man. Someone who enjoyed the opera, fine wines and polite chit chat but Sara was a vivacious woman who enjoyed a debate and could drink any many under the table.

He wondered if Grissom ever worried that Sara would indulge in affairs in order to keep herself satisfied. Perhaps that was why he rarely came home; for fear of finding finger prints of someone else on her- or discovering evidence of someone else in their bed. The traces of a man younger than him in the place he should have been. Maybe he contented himself with the fact that she had accepted his proposal- he was allowed to call her his.

But she hated to be looked on like an object, a belonging of Grissom's, or anyone else's for that matter.

He carefully folded the scarf placing it in the bag he had brought with him almost convinced she wouldn't notice it missing. From looking about her house he almost felt sorry for her. For the empty life she lived. But he was forced to think about the woman he had lost. The love of his life. His soul mate.

And Sara Sidle was to blame for that.

He forced himself to remember that he was there for a reason as he returned that night, her key clutched carefully in his hand. But instead of returning from work in her car a taxi pulled up outside. He remained in the shadows as she struggled to climb out of the back seat, intoxication more than obvious from the distance between them.

She stumbled paying the driver before turning to face her house. He watched as she lifted a hand to her head, her feet unsteadily moving beneath her. It took a few steps before she tumbled falling to the ground. Her palms pressed against the ground, her hair sprawled gathering gravel. She lay completely still.

The cab driver climbed out shaking his head at the sight before him; she was a mess. He carefully turned her over but she just stared at the sky, squinting her eyes as she looked at the stars as a stranger rummaged through her pockets, touching her looking for her keys. He eventually found them bundling her and her purse into his arms moving towards the front door.

He stood aside watching as they disappeared into the house a sense of anxiety flooding him. What if that man tried to take advantage of her drunken state?

He moved towards the house, quietly opening the front door creeping into the house. The cab driver had placed Sara sprawled across the sofa unconscious as the booze, the injuries and the misery had shut her body down.

"What are you doing to my wife?" He asked to know, his eyes casting over Sara before turning to the out of breath, overweight, middle aged man before him.

"You're wife" He laughed. "You need to take better care of her pal." He shook his head patting him on the shoulder as he left. "Have fun with sleeping beauty over there"

He stood at the end of the sofa watching her and it occurred to him how true it was- someone needed to take care of her. But there was no one.

But him.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the slow update- overwhelming amounts of work and finals :(

But I hope you find this interesting- please review! :)

**Hide and Seek**

**(6)**

It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room as he stood watching her unconscious form; a mess of tangled limbs on the sofa. This was the moment he had been waiting for. She was far more vulnerable than he could have ever imagined her to be. The ideas rushed into his head like a flood as his mind attempted to keep up with the atmosphere that was spinning in the room around them.

Moving as quietly as he could force himself he made his way to her bathroom taking a moment to study the layout, the bottle lined neatly by the skin, the lone toothbrush, and the collection of pill bottles probably spent her time trying to ignore. Placing in the plug he turned the taps listening to the sound of water cascading into the porcelain tub. The buzz settling in his system didn't seem to give justice to the moment that he had found himself stuck in.

This was it.

He could already imagine the feeling of satisfaction he would get watching her life slip away. He stared into the swirling water and allowed himself a moment to slip into fantasy. He could feel her weight in his arms as he lowered her into the water being careful not to wake her, he had so much control over her body it was almost euphoric. In one swift movement his hands moved from under her to over her, forcibly holding her under the water. It didn't take long for her eyes to snap open, her body bucking violently as she fought for her life.

He was stronger though, he held onto her shoulders watching as her eyes glazed over and air bubbles left her mouth signifying her last breath.

He smiled slightly as he killed the taps. It all seemed so perfect, this culmination of all his weeks of work. She had handed him this opportunity on a plate.

Ronald stepped into the living room, halting at the foot of the sofa to take in the woman whose life he held in his hands. She looked almost peaceful despite the turmoil he knew she was suffering internally. Her chest rose and fell gently and rhythmically, the only real sign she was genuinely alive in that moment.

It frustrated him how he had found himself caring for her in a strange sort of way. He worried about her mental state, her emotional detachment, her vulnerability. But those feelings so quickly turned into something darker- something sinister. It wasn't hatred. It was something more.

He realised as he looked at her once more that the time had come where he would have to remove her clothes. It was something he took no joy from, he didn't have a shred of sexual attraction to her and so it was more from necessity than desire.

His fingers carefully released the buttons of her blouse, the black of her bra standing out in stark contrast to her pale skin. She liked dark underwear, just as she liked dark clothing. He fixed his eyes on her face as he slipped one arm and then the other free from the sleeves. She didn't stir, a fact he was thankful for as he slid her trousers from her long legs. He took great care with it, sliding his hands incredibly gently down the length of her leg hoping she wouldn't feel the pull of gravity beneath her.

He stood above her, her pants ling over his arm like a waiter might hold a towel. He realised that if he was going to make it look like an accident he should stage the scene just like she would have. He carefully folded the pants, placing them and her blouse on the sideboard with a sigh.

The underwear would be harder, he couldn't claim to have a vast amount of experience in removing ladies lingerie, especially not on unconscious women who would not respond kindly to him should she wake up.

He crouched beside her, grasping her right shoulder and gently rocking her body towards him. His fingers grappled with the clasp clumsily and a whisper of a moan found its way to her lips. His heart turned somersaults and adrenaline flooded his system as the clasp finally released and he slipped the bra down her arms. Sara settled happily back onto the sofa and he quickly removed her panties, placing them with her other clothing on the side.

He couldn't help to pause and admire his work. He casted his eyes over her naked form, before letting him settle on the tattoo on her ankle. She was so skeletal and fragile like this, much more than when she had clothing on to hide her figure. He worry once again filling his consciousness as he noted that he knew she wasn't eating enough.

Basderic took the few steps towards her, pulled a deep breath into his lungs and took her into his arms. She didn't even stir, the cold air on her body wasn't enough to wake her and neither was the movement from one room to the other. It was all so easy, like this was exactly what was meant to happen.

He carefully placed her down, her feet the first to touch the water, his entire body stiffening as he carefully watched her face waiting for her eyes to open any moment. But the smell of whiskey on her lips had him attempting to figure out just how much she'd had to drink. The thought of all the things she was attempting to escape and he realised that perhaps all of the booze in Vegas wouldn't have seemed like enough from the place she had found herself.

What would her friends think when her body was discovered?

He could almost see the shadows of guilt upon the face of that younger man he had seen her with before. He would have found himself drowning in the knowledge he could have done more to save her from the bottle, from the end. Perhaps her husband would be driven further away from the reality of his life when he realised he lost the women he claimed to love.

With a shallow breath he let her slowly sink into the water watching as her body was submerged beneath the storm on the surface. She couldn't see him. He knew that if she did it would ruin all the time he had put in so far. He made his way out of her bathroom, leaving the door open just far enough he could see the reflection of the tub in the mirror on the door while perched on her bed.

An eerie silence lingered in the air as there was no reaction. It occurred to him that the longer the still remained in the air around him the better the outcome would be. He thought about the way the water would slowly fill her lungs as she attempted to breathe.

The sound of spluttering filled surrounded him as the disappointment sunk to the pit of his stomach but he couldn't make himself move from the spot he was in. The want to force her beneath the water was overwhelming but his body had frozen in that moment. A pale hand appeared on the edge of the tub as she weakly pulled herself up.

Her body seemed to collapse of exhaustion as she tried to climb out of the water- her arms limply dangling over the edge while she rested her head against the side taking ragged breaths. Using what seemed to be the last of her energy she hauled herself out falling to the floor in a heap. Water droplets surrounded her like rainfall, her hair dripping onto the tiles, her shivering body leaning against the bath behind her as she attempted to remain up right. Tears formed in her eyes and nosily appeared in the air.

She didn't move her arms wrapped around herself as she took ragged breaths interrupted by sobs, her head resting on her knees.

He could almost feel the cold collecting on her skin, the feeling of dread filling her chest. But he realised it wasn't enough. He wanted more. He wanted to know that he had broken her down brick by brick because only then would he be able to let her go, let her disappear in his memory like a bad dream.

As he silently pulled himself to his feet, letting himself out of the front door into the dusky early morning light it occurred to him; he needed a plan.


	7. Chapter 7

Well finals are over and I'm back from holiday, and I decided it was time to get back to this fic. I really hope you enjoy it and I'm very sorry for the long wait!  
Please review let me know what you all think!

**Hide and Seek **

**(7) **

Steam filled the air clinging to every surface; the heavy smell of lavender from her soap seemed to seep through his pores unsettling his system. The heat seemed to surround him and suffocate him as he studied the way her clothes were strewn across the floor. The urge to pick them up and place them in their correct place crawled beneath the surface of his skin but he knew he couldn't. He stood in her bathroom, his eyes focused on the way the light spread evenly across the ceramic of the tub, the very place she could have died the night before.

He had observed her reaction to the morning- despite the obvious hangover and physical weakness she had felt at the sight of day light she had still forced herself to get up and go to work. He had stood outside in the bright morning air surrounded by a sense of exhaustion as her hands shook so much she could barely hold her coffee cup, swaying slightly with the dizziness that washed over her. It seemed as if her work was the only source of stability in her life. With the badge came her identity, her sense of self when it seemed as if her life was crumbling around her.

Perhaps she consoled herself when she felt the empty aching inside her chest that at least she was doing something- trying to do something to help.

As he remained firmly planted to the spot listening to the sound of water droplets hitting the porcelain he wondered what her thought process had been as she had attempted to figure out how she had ended up in the tub. He could almost imagine her panic and desperation to remember something about the night had passed her by. But it was buried in her memory somewhere she couldn't reach faced with the darkness.

She was someone who needed to be in control of her life, of her body and actions. It was obvious she had believed at some point it would stop her from getting hurt but still she found herself alone and miserable.

With a sigh he moved towards the cabinet swinging the door open to study the things she had lined up on the shelves. She had a lot of medication, orange bottles with scripts lined up neatly; prozac, citalopram, and a selection of migraine medication. All of which would have artificially created the felling of being okay- a feeling she clearly needed. He lifted the blister pack of birth control pills taking note of the fact she had missed a few days. They had probably slipped her mind with all of the stress she had been experiencing.

It made no difference really- after all the chances of her becoming pregnant were very low. He wondered if she had ever wanted children but had found herself faced with the fact it was too late. She had a career, a husband thousands of miles away and a body clearly not healthy enough for child bearing. The images of her skeletal figure appearing in the forefront of his mind- her bone structure had almost been completely visible beneath her pale skin.

A part of him sensed that she had always considered that children were not an option for someone like her. After all how could someone who barely knew what love was teach another human being? How could someone so seemed so close to the deep end look after a child?

Perhaps she worried that her children would end up like her husband and push her away, when all she wanted was to be close to them.

Or even worse, maybe she thought her children would end up like her.

He closed the cabinet taking no interest in the shampoo she used and made his way into the kitchen. The cupboards were largely empty but he was not surprised having witnessed her eating habits first hand. He carefully lifted the milk carton out of it resting place before carrying it to the sink and pouring out a small amount. It had been enough to make a slight different to the weight of the carton but not enough to catch her attention.

He was controlling her and she didn't even know it. Every one of the small shifts he'd implemented in her house changed her slightly.

It felt strange being in so much control of someone else's life. He had never been able to easily manipulate the others- he had maintained enough of a distance to only be something in the back drop. But Sara was different. He had integrated himself into her world and she hadn't even realised it- the fact that he had wandered around her house, touched her things and even gone as far as undressing her.

As he rearranged the cupboards just a little he found himself thinking that he and Sara had more in common that she realised. They had both grown up pretty much alone. They both struggled with love and its many pitfalls. They both were unhappy.

It was always the reminders that she was human that got beneath his skin.

He wanted to hate her. He wanted to despite her. But every so often he would find himself caught off guard by how fragile she was. The want to save her, to wrap her up and hide her from the world would appear within him. And it was those thoughts that would fuel his anger. He shouldn't feel anything for this woman, she had destroyed his life. She had taken the one thing that had meant something away from him.

It came to mind that this elaborate game he had created would most certainly end in death.

In a way it would be the only fitting thing to do. It was not only revenge but it was something more. He had seen the way Sara lives and he wanted to convince himself that by killing her he would be doing her a favour. She was depressed. She was unhappy. She had nothing to keep living for, not really.

He needed to get her to the edge; he needed for her to look into the abyss.

The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the house disconcerting him but it only took a heart beat for him to realise that a new opportunity had presented itself to him. Taking a deep breath hoping to grasp confidence from the air he cradled the phone in his hand preparing to sound controlled and relaxed as if there was no place else for him to be at that moment than in her house, on her phone.

"Sara Sidle's phone" He answered casually pacing as he spoke waiting for the response from the other side. The skies outside were gathering cloud the sun shining through the gaps the light moving across the grass in the garden. There were a few potted plants collecting around the patio- the various types of vegetation that grew in Nevada heat. She barely tended to them most didn't need much attention.

"Hello this is Jane from Tranquil Hours- may I speak to Ms Sidle please" The cheery voice responded after a small pause. It was a moment of hesitation as the caller figured out how to respond to the man's voice that filled their ears. He knew the care home having passed it a few times but still found it odd that they would be contacting Sara. It occurred to him that his story needed to sound plausible if he was to get any information from Jane.

"Sara's not here at the moment... I'm her husband..." He paused the lie once again leaving his lips. He made a mental note to find out more about the man that kept her heart captive. "I can give her a message when she gets in"

"I was just calling to confirm that she would be visiting her mother this weekend" Jane replied not suspecting a thing. The information she had given away made his heart race; Sara's mother was within his reach- she was someone who knew about her past. She was someone knew all of Sara's weaknesses.

"Of course Jane, I will let her know and ask her to call you back" The sudden upbeat tone of his voice impossible to miss. With that he hung up the phone a small smile spreading across his lips-after all of his time he had the key to Sara's past. He tried to imagine what her mother was like but for some reason he couldn't see anything less than a monster.

After all what else could create such a damaged, broken woman.


	8. Chapter 8

I decided to fill in a little bit of Ronald's background based on the research I did about stalkers/stalking behaviour. I hope you all (the two of your still reading this story) enjoy this chapter- please review let me know what you think.

**Hide and Seek**

**(8) **

He straightened his tie taking his appearance in the full length mirror; pale blue shirt, slacks, a red tie and the smartest jacket he owned. It seemed like an odd combination of clothes, a miss matched outfit but he realised it didn't matter too much. He had secured a visit to see Laura Sidle after a quick phone call pretending to be a long lost relative. If he was honest with himself it surprised him just how much he had managed to pry into Sara Sidle's life without anyone noticing or stopping him. For such a guarded person she was an open book.

The walls she had built weren't visible to the naked eye, they weren't present in her words but they seemed to mark every aspect of her life; the relationships that didn't seem to exist, the lonely nights and the clear longing for something that she couldn't attain. There wasn't anyone there to question his motives, or the way he shadowed every one of her steps. And it was all because of her inability to let anyone in, past the tough exterior she used as a defence mechanism.

But it was all an act.

With one last glance in the mirror he made his way towards the front door, checking his watch wanting to make sure he was on time. A strange feeling had settled in his chest, a tickle at the bottom of his heart as his lungs seemed to painfully, slowly express air. It was nervousness. It had been a constant feeling that had followed him as he had followed Sara. He had dreamt a few too many nights that she would notice him- and after a few moments of shock, her reflexes would take over and shoot him. Her gun seemed to always been close enough for quick responses.

She lived in constant fear.

But the way he felt in that moment was different. It was an acknowledgement that he was getting closer to what showing Sara exactly what he was capable of. She had wanted to push him towards a confession before, but now she would get to witness the lengths he was able of going to.

The radio came to life as he started his car, the chatter of the DJ filling the small space as the city passed him by. He had never imagined himself living in Las Vegas, it was a bizarre place filled with odd people. But had he not moved here he would never have met Edie- it was date he had decided the day they had met. He pondered Sara's reasons for moving to Sin City- it didn't suit her personality. Grissom probably had been her reason for staying, the excuse she kept under her pillow at night when she had first made the move.

What about now?

He parked his car in one of the empty spots casting his eyes towards the building that had imposed itself upon the skyline. Taking a moment he went through all of the elaborate webs he had weaved in order to ensure that there were no mistakes. He needed Laura Sidle to be on his side, she needed to believe the things he was saying but also to not repeat their conversations to Sara.

The air was thick and humid as it surrounded him, the sound of his footsteps echoing as he made his way towards the main entrance. The parking lot was deserted as if the residents of the care home had been forgotten by visitors and well wishers. It occurred to him that the easiest way to gain Laura's trust would be to isolate her, to become the only person with whom she had a connection. It wouldn't be too difficult- he guessed- Sara was so wrapped with work all the time. Missed visits probably weren't out of the ordinary.

He was lead to her room passing the open doors that displayed residents sitting alone attempting to find something to do with the time they had on their hands. Some of them where reading, knitting while others simply just stared out of the windows studying the world they had once belonged to. A pang of sympathy seemed to resound through his body as he imagined the sadness that had seeped into their lives.

The nurse paused with a smile indicating that they had reached their destination, the door was closed but the small pane of glass let him peer into her rather plain living quarters. "Don't forget to sign out" The nurse informed him with a smile quickly make her way back towards the main desk. Taking a glance around the empty hall way he took a deep breath before opening the door and taking a step into the room.

"Hello" A frail sounding voice questioned glancing up at him with critical eyes. The older woman arched an eyebrow at him, a behaviour he had seen Sara replicate. He smiled at her with everyone he could muster, wanting warmth and affection to come across in his expression despite the feeling clawing at his insides telling him to get out.

"My name's Ronald" He reached out his handing waiting for Laura to shake it. "I'm a friend of Sara's."

"Oh, did Sara send you" She asked her eyes lighting up at the mention of her daughter's name- the affection she felt for her was more than obvious. He realised that Sara had probably chosen to distance herself from her mother not because of the woman herself but because of all the memories she would reinforce.

"No she doesn't know I'm here... I just thought that perhaps you could use the company" He sat himself down opposite her, his bright blue eyes gleaming in the morning light that flooded the room. "My mother was in a place like this... before she passed away, I know how lonely it can get"

"It was very kind of you to visit... but you don't want to be spending your day with someone like me" She shrugged her shoulders pulling at the fraying edges of the blanket that was laid across her lap, placing her book aside.

"Catch 22... It's one of my favourite books" He indicated to the cover.

"It's Sara's favourite too" Laura smiled.

"What was Sara like as a child?" He asked. "I imagine she used to get into a lot of trouble" A hollow laugh was forced past his lips.

"Trouble did have a way of finding her..." Laura shook her head, the sadness clouding her gaze. "But she after she was put into foster-care we lost touch for a while..."

As he recalled his own childhood, the way he had been taken away from his father after his mother's death. He had been unable to cope after his wife had gone and taken to drinking himself into a stupor almost neglecting his son to the point Ronald had begun to doubt his own existence. There were days where he would pretend he was simply a ghost following and haunting his father.

A shiver seemed to creep up his spine as it occurred to him that perhaps he and Sara were not as different as he liked to think they were. They were both a little lost. They had both found themselves in the absence of love. It had slowly become more and more difficult to push these thoughts out of his mind but they were the ones fuelling the strange hatred he had become infatuated with.

He needed to end this.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the insanely slow update, I seriously thought that this chapter would kill me. Life has been crazy but hopefully I'll be getting back into the writing grove. Please review- let me know what you think.

**Hide and Seek**

**(9) **

He watched as she ran a comb through her hair, studying her reflection in the mirror searching her own gaze for answers. She had made an effort; the clothes she was wearing were not the usual plain ones she pulled out from the front of her wardrobe simply because they were in easy reach. It was an uncomplicated dress that fell to her knees, falling off her shoulders gathering and moving around her frail form.

It seemed bizarre watching her as she tried to present herself to the world in a way that was different to the person she really was beneath her skin. But in a small way he admired her attempts at blending. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments before lifting the bouquet of flowers she had placed on the side and making her way towards the door.

Walking almost silently across the grass he watched as her car pulled over the drive way through the gap in the garden fence. He knew he had to give it a few moments before made his way towards his own car or she would see him. It would have just been easier for him to go inside her house and find evidence of where she was going but he wanted to see it. He wanted to see where she was going in that dress.

Discussions about the weather filled his ears as he kept his eyes focused on his windshield; her car was just one space ahead of his. Smoke was slowly filtering out of crack in her window onto the road as well as the sound of the music she was playing. The noise seemed to move slowly towards him as if it were a visiting friend. He didn't recognise the notes; they were not from the classical music he was familiar with.

Playing the piano had been his solace as a child. He recalled the overwhelming sensation of admiration at the sight of the Steinberg as it had remained in the shadows at the piano store. But still the mirror like black lacquer and soft sound it created had captivated him. He ignored the advice that a upright wasn't worth the amount of money they cost but he realised that after having played that piano he didn't think he would be able to find one that sounded just as sweet.

It had moved with him as he rebuilt his life in various cities, it now had scratches and marks caused by movers not paying attention but he loved the piano as much as he had done the first time he had seen it. Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' had over the years become one of his favourite pieces of music to play. There was a sense of exhausted sadness in every note; it seemed to shadow his life in a way.

But Sara was not one for beautiful piano ballads. It was clear she had given up on subtle notes of pain and pleasure- her music collection was verbal enough to display every grievance. The song writers she listened to were honest about the feelings of inadequacy, depression and loneliness. The communicated the very things she wanted to.

His car crept behind hers as it pulled into a cemetery; he frowned slightly wondering why it was that she was there. He watched as her as she parked carefully out of the way, climbing out but still not leaving its side. He realised that he needed to be careful where he parked his car, they were in an open space she could easily see him. But as usual she was far too distracted to notice him watching her from the driver's side window. She lit up a cigarette leaning against her car her eyes focused on the ground as she mentally prepared herself for whatever it was to come.

He crept through the neatly lined up graves, maintaining a safe distances and remaining by the shadows the trees provided. A group had gathered near a grave, one Sara had joined with the flowers she had brought with her. The colours had wilted in the heat but her intentions were clear and no comments were made. They all took their turns saying the things they wanted to say.

The younger male friend was there, he had wrapped his arm around her holding her up as she swayed slightly on her feet. The group slowly dispersed making their way back to their vehicles but she remained in place as did her friend. They didn't say a word but a mutual understanding of what they were feeling there was very clear.

They slowly made their way back to the parking lot, lingering before going to their separate vehicles. He silently climbed back into his car, slowly closing the door so that the slamming would not catch their attention.

Once they were back on the road it quickly became clear that she was not heading home, her car taking a few too many wrong turns heading into the heart of the city. He had never been a fan of the strip; it was far too busy, noisy and polluted for his liking. The people that milled around more often than not were wide eyed tourists and grifters ready to take advantage of the fresh blood.

And everywhere you looked there was a reminder of what this city was built on; sin. The strip clubs and the scantily clad women that blended into the crowds with secretive smiles sold sex as if it were a staple item of living. The casinos pulled in people off the streets, the ones down and out on their luck thinking they might be able to turn their lives about, and sometimes, just the plain greedy.

The heat from the dessert that surrounded them swept through the sweltering air as it lingered on people's skin. The occasional bouts of humidity were like the feeling of foreboding; a storm was coming. The clouds would gather and the skies will be filled to the brim with what was to come.

It was a beautiful hell.

He paused and watched she ducked into bar closely followed by her friend; his hand was on the small of her back, his fingers stretching out against her body. It surprised him that she made no protest to the way he touched her. But perhaps it had been so long since the last time a man had put his hands on her she simply was relishing the way his fingers felt against her.

He waited for a large group to make their way inside and merged in with them but as soon as they were inside it became clear that it was not needed. The bar was packed, with large groups and people scattered around as music played loudly over the speakers.

They were huddled in a corner together, sitting opposite each other on a small table, their drinks between them. The younger man was talking at her as she kept her eyes focused on the bottom of her drink. It wasn't clear if she was listening to what he was saying or simply just appreciating the fact that she wasn't alone.

Her glass was empty sooner than he had expected but he realised her drinking habits shouldn't have surprised him anymore. He slowly sipped his bourbon taking in the dynamic of their relationship. She had let this man closer to her than anyone else; she let him touch her, move close to her and mutter in her ear. What interested him more was, the fact that she did not discourage his loving gaze as it washed over every inch of her.

She wanted him to look at her like that.

She wanted to be reminded that she was still desirable; that beneath all of the depression, past all of the dark moods there was someone that could still want her. Perhaps he simply acted as a temporary replacement for her husband.

He lead her by the hand letting her lean on him as they made their way out of the bar, the number of drinks and the lack of food quickly taking affect while she was on her feet. After they stumbled outside he swept her up into his arms carrying her to his car and placed her in the passenger seat. She wrapped her fingers around his tie, her free hand grasping at his shirt pulling him towards her.

Their lips collided and his attempts at resisting melted away his fingers tangled in her hair as their kiss grew steadily more passionate. It took a few moments before either of them realised what was happening and he quickly pulled away letting her close the door on him as he stood for a moment attempting to unravel what had just happened between them.

As he watched from a distance the very thing he needed to completely break Sara Sidle became painfully clear to him.


	10. Chapter 10

Hi all, I'm sorry I completely forgot to write that the last chapter was set after 'Fallen Angles' and they were all at Warrick's grave!

Hope you enjoy this, please review, and let me know what you think.

Also I promise I'll update sooner- if I don't please send me mean messages!

**Hide and Seek**

**(10)**

Gregory Sanders; read the carefully printed black ink on the various sized envelopes he held in his hand. Gregory- derived from the Latin 'Gregorius' meaning watchful. He was most certainly watchful when it came to Sara Sidle- he was in tune with the subtle changes in her mood. He had seen the way Greg had reached out to her, small touches of the hand, meaningful glances to let her know that she was okay.

But his observations were not rewarded in the way he clearly wanted them to be. She would just move away wanting him to stop seeing through the act she had started. Greg's want for affection was disregarded but he had a feeling that would change soon enough. She was backed into a corner, she realised that she didn't have anyone else. No longer was her husband there to provide a distraction from her friend's obvious attraction to her.

He wondered what had convinced her all of that time ago that she did not feel anything romantic towards Greg. Perhaps she had been worried she would have hurt him, worn him down and ended their relationship in the way every other one of her relationships had gone. Keeping him in her life as a friend was more important than taking him to bed. Or at least that had been the case all of those years ago.

What was her stopping her now?

Her husband had provided a sensible option. He had little interest in her at first; she had managed to convince herself to put all of her energies into impressing him, into getting his attention. That way she didn't have to face what it would have been like to be unconditionally loved. To be trapped, knowing she could not give Greg the same and that she was letting him down every time she lied claiming she felt exactly how he did.

He cast his eyes over the empty street; it was quiet residential area, with manicured lawns and nice cars parked outside. He imagined that it was not somewhere Greg would fit in but probably just something he thought he should want. He wondered if the younger man had considered settling down for the sake of it, to be able to tell his mother that he had cemented a life for himself here in Las Vegas.

But all that seemed to have been pushed aside as he maintained the hope that one day Sara would take notice of what he felt for her. He wondered how many more years it would take Greg to realise that she wasn't ready to be with someone like him- and that she would constantly convince herself that she could not be with him.

With a sigh he made his way back towards his car, checking the neighbour's windows to make sure no nosey individuals had been watching him. As he drove back to Sara's house he knew that soon enough that Greg would no longer be pining or waiting for her. She would have inadvertently pushed out one of the very last people who would save her from herself.

He didn't know much about cars but what he had done to Sara's was simple- he'd just followed instructions provided partially from a book and the rest from the internet. And he had been surprised at how easy finding someone willing to take part in his plan. All he had done was pretend to be her husband once again, claimed he was attempting to prove that she would cheat on him. The instructions were simple.

The lights seemed to dim around him as he sat inside his car reading her mail though it was never truly dark in Vegas, carefully resealing the letters once he had taken in what they were telling her- most were boring bills and leaflets attempting to sell her things that she could never want.

Waiting was dull but he knew that in the end it would be worth it. Over the years he had learnt to be a patient man, he would spend the time he spent in the dark thinking about the woman that had captivated him. So as a force of habit, he lent back in his seat and imagined Sara. He imagined the slow rumble of her engine as her car rolled through the empty dessert landscape...

Sara tapped her nails against the steering wheel in time with the sound of the White Stripes song that had filled the inside of her car. She bit into the soft flesh of her lip as she nodded her head to the sound of the kick drum. She enjoyed driving when dusk was settling over the city; the air had cooled by that time the suffocating dusty dessert smog had dulled.

Cracking her window slightly more she enjoyed the feeling of the breeze passing her by, moving strands of her hair away from her face. The road was almost completely empty, the orange of the street lights dancing the slow moving palm trees that lined the edges. It had been a long day, or at least it had felt like that.

She wondered when she had become the kind of person who spent the entire day thinking about getting home. When she'd first moved to Las Vegas she had let Greg take her out on the town- it had become an end of the week ritual. They would go to the strangest bars they could find and try the most bizarre cocktails they offered. At some stage, they had developed routine movie nights and gone to listen to jazz.

Somewhere along the way they had stopped spending time together, and if Sara was honest with herself she felt like she had lost her best friend, her confidant. Greg was the one person she felt she could trust unconditionally. He was the one person who was yet to let her down.

She made a mental note to call him, to try and win him back after thirteen years.

The burr of her engine seemed to quieten slightly as the car lurched forward, and eventually spluttered to a halt. There was nothing bust silence surrounding her, and the rustle of animals moving in the distance and birds calling over head. Her attempts to start her car failed, as the engine refused to turn over. Her phone sat on her dash, letting her know that there was no signal to be found where she was.

With an exhausted sigh she pulled herself from the driver's seat, stepping out on to the road carefully checking that there were no other vehicles. She opened the hood of her car, looking down at all of the different parts. As a Physics Major she wanted to claim that she knew what had happened, and that even if she couldn't fix it she could at least identify the problem.

But from what she could tell everything was in its place. The only thing wrong was the ferocity of the heat radiating from the parts. She slammed the hood shut, retrieving her phone holding it high above her head with the vague hope that it would suddenly detect some signal it had not previously done. She paced further down the road attempting to see if she happened to be near anything or anyone that would be able to help her. There was no one. It was too far a walk to the next cluster of residential homes.

Headlights blinded Sara as she moved back towards her car, a SUV slowing as it approached her. A lump built up in her throat as a sense of panic washed over her. She had been working in law enforcement for too long. She had seen the fate of too many people that had trusted helpful strangers on the side of the road. Isolated, poorly lit, and almost abandoned roads like the one she was standing on.

The tinted window off the SUV rolled down as she waited with her hand lingering by her sidearm to see who exactly was on the other side. A pair of clear blue eyes looked back at her from the driver's side, the man's smile becoming apparent next.

"Need any help" He asked in a low voice. He was attractive, Sara had to give him that, and as he gave her another one of his dimpled smiles she felt a familiar sensation knotting her stomach. It had been a long time since she has found herself feeling such a physical attraction to another man. It only reinforced the absence of her husband.

"Er... Sure" She pressed her lips together, hoping that he hadn't noticed with the way her eyes had remained on him for far too long. As she looked up to find that he was standing by her side their eyes met and Sara knew all too well that she was busted.

She caught the glimmer in his eyes as he smirked looking towards her car, her fingers twisting her wedding ring as she reminded herself why all of the thoughts that had popped into her head were so very wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, please review let me know what you think, also what you think!

**Hide and Seek **

**(11) **

Sara crossed her arms rocking back on her heels biting her lip to surprise the pleased smile that she knew was obvious. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she couldn't stop her mind from going to those dark, lusty places she had not visited since the last time her husband had been in town. The man in front of her had what would have been described as the perfect handsome stranger in romantic fiction. He rested a muscular arm against the edge of her car as he looked at the various parts of the engine.

"My name's Kevin by the way" He informed her not bothering to look up as he tinkered with something. The muscles in his back were more than obvious through the thin material of his t-shirt, changing as he moved leaning forwards and rocking back. She couldn't stop her mind from flashing images of their tangled forms before she had a chance to dismiss then. The guilt tightening a knot in her stomach made her feel unsteady on her feet.

"I'm Sara" She replied, clearing her throat checking her phone once again to see if some signal had magically appeared in the middle of no where but as she'd expected she had no suck luck. She stared at her wedding ring to remind herself that despite their problems she still loved Grissom more than she had ever thought she could love. All of these feelings that she felt were temporary, fleeting but here marriage most certainly wasn't. Kevin clicked his tongue, standing up straight with a sigh drawing her attention back to him.

"I'm sorry but I don't think you're going to be on the road tonight..." He informed her with a shrug and a sympathetic smile not bothering to explain what was wrong with her car. "But I can give you a lift back into the city if you want..."

"No I'd rather walk the ten miles" Sara rolled her eyes as she focused her attention on her car a frustrated growl as she kicked the wheel. The sound it made rung throughout the air for a few moments while Kevin stood back watching her not responding to her crass, aggressive behavior.

"Suit yourself" He made a move towards his truck but it quickly set Sara into motion.

"Sorry... I'm just annoyed about my car..." She cleared her throat glancing down at the gravel embarrassed by her own behavior and the fact it might be hours before another car passed by on a road like that at that time. And despite not having much to go home for she realised it'd be better than freezing on the size of the road. "I'd appreciate a lift back into the city"

"Well then Sara, you're in luck" He smirked at her climbing into the divers seat not saying another word waiting for her to follow suit. It was obvious he knew that she had very few options but to get into the car with him, Sara narrowed her eyes at Kevin as he sat with his hands firmly on the steering wheel watching her through the windshield. With a deep breath Sara threw herself haphazardly into the passenger side.

"Are you hungry? Would you like me to stop somewhere for food?" Kevin asked as he messed with the dials on the radio. He was far too smug, she thought, he was fully aware of the fact he was attractive and that she found him attractive.

"It's alright Romeo... this isn't a date" Sara responded with a half smile and a low voice. He looked at her, his blue eyes catching her off guard once again. The way he looked at her seemed to look through her, as if he knew about how much getting up everyday hurt, how hard she had been working just to keep it all together. The thought made her shiver, it occurred to Sara that her attempts at concealing her weakness were pointless under a careful gaze.

"So what would I have to do to get you on a date?" He asked in a husky voice that sent shivers up and down her spine. Her senses seemed to be overwhelmed by the smell of his skin which was barely a few feet away from her and the unbearable loneliness she lived with. The musky scent making her dizzy with the sort of lust she reserved for the handful of encounters she and her husband would have every year.

"I'm afraid that would never happen... I'm married" Sara informed him after clearing her throat attempting to convince herself of the same fact. She had judged women for having affairs, for betraying the trust their husbands had put them but at the end of every day when she climbed into a cold, empty bed their reasoning seemed far more sound. And she found herself felling ashamed for thinking that she was better than them when the thought had crossed her mind a time or two. The revelation didn't seem to make any difference to him, a smile tugging at his lips as he kept his eyes focused on the road.

"You should probably call your husband..." Kevin instructed. He reached across her to the glove box, his fingers brushing against the thin material of her slacks, his arms resting against her leg as he fished around finding a cigarette packet. It was almost as if he had done so on purpose but she wasn't about to accuse her ride home of bad behavior when they were this far from taxi service and cell phone range. "You know... it's late, you're with a tall, handsome stranger...If I were your husband I'd be worried"

"Why because you're just that irresistible?" She quirked an eyebrow at him watching as he gripped hold of the gear stick slowing to let a truck pass with his other hand lighting the cigarette between his lips. He cracked the window letting the first hit of smoke be carried away by the night air.

"No, because you're that beautiful" He shot her a glance. The sober sound of his voice forcing Sara to straighten in her seat as she awkwardly looked out of the window not knowing how to respond to his attempt at flirting with her.

"I don't know about that..." Sara smiled sadly before turning her attention to her wedding band, twisting it around her finger. "And I highly doubt he would notice."

The bright Las Vegas lights became slowly more clear in the distance as they moved towards the strip, the traffic slowly building up on the roads surrounding them as people headed towards the casinos and bars in search for an escape from their every day lives. Glancing at her watch Sara imagined her husband caught up in his every day life, completely oblivious to her want for his return. They had tried to talk about it before but the conversation would never get anywhere. He was happy with where he was and she had realised she just needed to accept that.

"So where to?" Kevin asked pulling her out of her thoughts. Sara provided her address, picking at her nails wanting for the journey to speed up. "You know, if there is anything you want to talk about... I'd be happy to listen"

"I'm not sure you'd want to hear all my problems" She gave a small humourless laugh. "There are people out there who have it a whole lot worse than me what's the point in complaining?"

"If only that made you feel better..." Kevin added reading her mind. Sara shook her head, folding her arms across her chest attempting to think of the right words to say in that moment but she realised that she was stumped. She had never talked about the things that were happening in her life or going on inside her mind with anyone, not even her closest friends. "So... are you going to invite me in for a drink?"

Sara glanced around at the empty street buying some time as she thought about his suggestion. It was a bad idea, she knew that only too well. Even if it were a simple polite drink as a way of thanks she was certain her husband would not see it that way. What did she have to look forward to?

An evening sitting by herself in front of trashy television programs eating bad food and wondering where her life had gone. It was that thought that convinced her to make a choice, it wasn't wrong to have friends. She was allowed to enjoy the company of other people, her marriage vows did not say she couldn't talk to another man.

"Sure...One drink" Sara announced after a pause meeting Kevin's eye as if to silently warn him that whatever happened between them would not go any further than that. But it was unclear if he understood it.

The speak of Basderic's phone crackled as he heard Sara's voice inviting Kevin into her house. He couldn't repress the feeling of anticipation that flooded his body, his senses ignited with the knowledge that his little investment was about to pay off...


	12. Chapter 12

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was a nightmare to write but at the same time a lot of fun! Please review, let me know what you think, thank you for reading/reviewing so far, it means a lot.

**Hide and Seek **

**(12) **

Sara could hear his footsteps as he moved around her living room pausing every so often to study the various things she had placed on shelves and on the walls. With her travels she had brought back trinkets and images that seemed to do little but gather dust. But still Sara liked the way they reminded her of a time when she felt something other than disappointment. With each item there was a story that would remind her that there was an entire world beyond the confines of Las Vegas. There were places she felt like she could call home and there were places she was just another face in a crowd admiring but there life was simple enough.

"I hope you like Jim Beam" She indicated to the glass of fiery liquid. He took it from her hand, their fingers brushing for a movement and despite all of Sara's efforts to convince herself that it was manufactured it was as if he had set her senses on fire. Jazz notes filled the air as he gave a devilish smile reaching past her turning the volume on the stereo up, their bodies flush against each others as he pushed her back.

He took a sip of his whiskey, the liquid glistening on his lips under the dim lighting before moving away watching as she gathered what was left of her composure. The silence between them was haunting, as he dared her to cross all of the boundaries she has spent her life building. She could hear her husbands voice like an old record crackling and filling the atmosphere.

"So where is this husband of yours exactly?" He raised his eyebrows taking a look around the empty room as if expecting him to appear out of nothingness. Sara had done the same thing herself, she had spent more time than she was willing to admit sitting around hoping that her husband would appear at the door with a promise to never leave again.

"He's out of town" She answered with a small shrug, polishing off the whiskey in her glass with gulp before turning back to the bottle. She could sense that Kevin was planning on persisting, asking for more information while coyly measuring her reactions.

"So... it's just the two of us?" He raised an eyebrow before checking her out. His gaze travelled from her eyes all the way down to her feet. The motion sent chills down her spine as Sara straightened her back a part of her wanting to know if he approved of what he saw or not. It had been such a long time since she had felt desirable.

"Yes" The word caught in her chest as she nodded her head slightly the guilt a constant companion.

"Does he go away a lot?" He was trying his best to be conversational but his intentions were more than clear in the way he was looking at her. Sara nodded in response before taking another large mouthful of her whiskey, the liquid burning as it slid down her throat. "You must get lonely" Kevin commented before becoming quiet once again. The sound of the music did little to cover up how awkward the atmosphere between them was.

"I survive" Sara shrugged finishing her whiskey before pouring another double measure into the glass ignoring Kevin's judgments as if he were a figment of her imagination. But as he took a step closer to her it became clear that he wasn't. He was very much real.

"You shouldn't have to" he was standing so close to her she could see the slight movements of his chest as he took each breath, the stubble creeping up his cheek bones, the subtle shades of greens in his eyes. He took the glass out of her hand placing it aside along with his. "You should be happy" He placed in his on the small of her back inching her body closer to his.

"And you think this would make me feel better" Sara laughed, raising her eyebrows at him. Kevin didn't answer placing his lips on hers kissing her like he had been waiting for her for years. He had pulled her so close that she could feel his heart beat through his shirt. She pushed against his chest, sending him reeling, attempting to steady himself on his feet.

The pause was only for a few moments as he pulled her back towards him, kissing her neck, his teeth biting into the delicate flesh as he dragged her unwilling feet back towards the sofa. She fingers moved beneath his shirt as she scrapped her nails down his back. Kevin laid her down on the sofa, straddling her as he lifted her shirt over her head, his hands and lips quickly returning to her body once he had done.

The night air swirled around him as he stood in the garden, the dense humidity indicating that a storm was brewing and the rare sight of rainfall in Las Vegas was not far off. He found himself wincing uncomfortably at what he was viewing but still he could not force himself to look away. Her desperate attempts to feel anything but empty were pathetic in his eyes but he knew she would only live to regret her own weakness. It would get beneath her skin and drive her to a point of insanity she hadn't experienced yet.

He had seen enough of Sara's behaviors to know that she would obsess over her fall from grace. The pedestal she had placed herself upon had well and truly been knocked down. The way she had spoken to him still managed to make him angry in a way he had never experienced before. She had underestimated just how much he was capable of.

She would know soon enough.

He looked down at his phone the text he had carefully worded text he had sent to Greg earlier, a number swap app he had found on the internet making it easy enough for him use Sara's identity once again. It had taken some time to find the right excuse, the tone to sound enough like Sara's but he knew his dedication would be rewarded.

Placing the phone back in his pocket, he relaxed slightly as if waiting for the movie to start at the cinema. Kevin had pulled her jeans off her legs tossing them over the side of the sofa as she wrapped her long legs around his waist rocking her hips in small circular motions. It took exactly ten minutes to drive from Greg's home to Sara's in a rush- he had made the journey it himself multiple times calculating an average.

She grasped the edge of sofa as he trailed kisses past her collar bone, his fingers dipping slowly lower forcing a sigh to escape past her lips as he built her up. His pushed her closer to the edge with every movement his teeth scraping against her skin.

Sara hadn't noticed the sound of knocking at the door or the way Greg had peered through the window attempting to figure out what had been holding her up. He froze as he watched what was unfolding on the other side. Panic churned in his stomach as he watched as the man on top of Sara pinned her wrists above her head. Greg searched his pockets for the spare keys Sara had given him, his other hand on his gun as it became clear what was happening.

She arched her back into him, leaning up for his lips and it was as if he had been knocked down. Greg felt breathless as the crushing realisation constricted around him. He wanted to look away, but he found himself watching as Sara kissed back, moving restlessly beneath the stranger on top of her. He felt a strange sort of resentment bubbling up from an unknown source.

He had always held onto his feelings for Sara despite her silent clarity that they were just friends. They had grown closer together, and they had crossed lines recently that he could only have hoped for in the early years. As he watched the passionate tangle she had succumbed to it was only made clearer that their drunken kiss had meant nothing to her. The kiss that he had spent hours obsessing about and replaying over and over was just... another drunken kiss.

Greg felt the burning desire to pick up one of the rocks by his feet and throw it through the window but instead he turned around and walked away vowing never to let Sara manipulate him. He would not waste time picking up the pieces again when everything would inevitably fall apart.

"Stop" Sara gasped, his hands flat against Kevin's chest, her head pounding as she attempted to sober herself up. One of the many photos of her husband had caught her eye, the shame spilling over into tears in her eyes. "You need to go."

"What, we're just- " But she didn't let him finish pushing at him until he had no other option but to clamber off the sofa. Kevin stood on the side watching as she placed her hands over her eyes attempting to black out the image of his body wanting it to be nothing but a dream.

"You need to go. Please, just get out" She mumbled turning onto her side not wanting him to see the tears that were glistening against her pale skin. Sara heard a scoffing sound, quickly followed by the sound of the front door slamming.

The sound of jazz piano lingered in the sill air, as her sobs escaped in waves of uncontrollable emotional, her entire body shaking, her skin feeling feverish smothered by the knowledge of being alone.


	13. Chapter 13

So I always wondered why Sara never spoke to Greg about the problems she'd been having- I mean they were always pretty close and from near the start she always told him see 'Unbareable' and 'Chick Chop Flick Shop'. I wanted to explain why, and this is just my interpretation...

This is set post 'Strip Maul' note Greg seemed kind of annoyed in that episode so I thought it was a perfect place for this to be set.

I hope you all like this chapter, please review, let me know what you think!

**Hide and Seek **

**(13) **

Sara stood watching the parking lot; the way people were swarming in and out of the lab completely oblivious to all of the things beyond them. There were people with some sign of hope in their eyes as they started their shift and those that were exhausted from everything that day had brought with it. So many of them looked jaded, so very fed up about the life they had built beneath the bright lights.

A hand touched her shoulder dragging her back to reality, a shiver running down her spine as she heard the sound of breathing close behind her. As Sara pivoted on her heels it became clear how close Greg was standing. She could see the subtle changes in his dark eyes, the moisture glistening on his lips, the few stray grey hairs at his temple. Something had diminished about the way he usually approached her, the soft indication of affection in his eyes had been muted as he stood silently studying her expression and waiting for something...

"Waiting for anything in particular... Or anyone?" He asked tucking his hands into his trouser pockets watching her carefully gaging her response. Sara shook her head, her voice caught in her throat as she attempted to figure out how to talk to the man she claimed was her best friend.

"Want to grab a drink?" She asked nervously wanting to talk about what had happened the other night, how she had managed to bring a stranger home, and almost taken him to the bed she shared with her husband.

"No" Greg shook his head, his voice cutting through the thick dusk air that surrounded them. The noise seemed to disappear from around them, Sara studied his expression looking for some indication to why he had responded the way he had done. But she found herself completely lost as if she were looking at a stranger rather than someone that had been by her side for thirteen year.

"How about I cook you dinner? It's been a while... I'm sure you're missing my hand made peanut butter on toast" She smiled the brightest smile she could hoping that he wouldn't notice how forced it was or how desperate she was for him to give her something to hold on to. Greg didn't move or change, remaining where he was standing twisting his car keys around his fingers before responding.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea" He turned to walk away but Sara found she had involuntarily grabbed hold of his arms attempting to keep him close by. Greg turned to look at her, a moment of hurt flashing in his eyes but quickly flickering away as he waited for her to explain what it was she wanted from him because if he was honest he had given her all he could in all of the years they had been friends but it hadn't been enough for her.

Even after all of these years the unsaid feelings between them were weighing down every moment, every interaction they had. Greg knew that would probably never change, he had been kidding himself thinking that they would be able to get past the fact that he wanted them to be more than friends. Sara had never said how she felt but it occurred to him that she didn't need to, it was oh so clear how she felt for him. She didn't feel anything.

"Can we talk?" She whispered desperately to him, her dark eyes pleading with him to ignore the things he had seen the night before and save her again.

He was just her personal pick-me-up service. He was the guy that had to put her back together after every break up, every time her husband did something insensitive or when she felt lonely. He provided her with validation, he made her feel worth something when all of the evidence she had spent sleepless hours collecting said that wasn't the case.

And he was sick of it.

He was fed up of being the man she went to when she had no other choice. He was fed up of being her rock bottom.

"Sara I've got things to do" Greg shook her grip off, taking a step back but still he didn't walk away. If he was honest he was waiting for an apology. He wanted her to look him in the eye and say that she was sorry for what he had to see the other night. At least if he knew she felt guilty it would provide some comfort and maybe the fuel he needed to distance himself from her.

"Is this about..." She glanced around checking no one was within ear shot. "About that kiss..."

"No Sara, no this isn't about one _lousy_, drunken kiss" That was the last straw. Greg turned and walked away, his hands in his pockets, his gaze focused on his car and his thoughts wrapped up in getting out of there. It occurred to him that there was a chance that she had been so drunk she hadn't remembered texting him. She had left many of her actions up to alcohol these days and despite the desire to go back and pull her into his arms Greg pushed through it and climbed into his car with the intention of going someone and finding a woman that was nothing like Sara to distract him from the storms stirring in his mind.

Sara felt her heart drop as she watched him walk away, each step seemed to echo against her ribcage, winding around her heart, filtering through her lungs leaving her feeling breathless. She felt helpless waiting for him to turn around, to come back and refuse to leave but it didn't happen. He didn't even look at her as his car passed her by pulling out on the road.

She slowly forced her body to co-operate with her thoughts, moving towards her car. The drive home passed by slowly, the clock ticking away reminding her of exactly long had passed. She couldn't feel anything; she felt numb as she shifted through all of the memories of her interactions with Greg in the past few days to figure out what it was that had pushed him away.

The house seemed emptier than ever as she made her way inside, leaving her things by the door the energy seemed to disappear in moments. Sara threw her body haphazardly on the sofa leaning back letting her body melt into the soft pillows. She held her phone up scrolling through her contacts her eyes focused on Greg's name as she attempted to figure out whether it was worth calling him. They way he had spoken to her had made what he felt clear enough.

The way he had looked at her hadn't left any room for doubt or argument. He was exhausted and she realised she couldn't blame him for wanting to walk away. All of these years she had depended on him but it became clear that there was a chance he hadn't been keeping afloat. Perhaps they needed some space, some time to get their heads together. Maybe one day she would be a better friend to him and he'd forgive her.

He watched from a distance as her form lay sprawled across the living room furniture knowing that she probably would stay there for most of the night. The chances of her moving to get food were unlikely, it was more realistic that she would want to stop the feelings from consuming her and open another bottle of wine or hit the harder liquors.

He had seen the way Gregory had brushed her off before, the tears stinging her eyes as she'd watched him walk away, the confusion as she had attempted to understand why. The anguish was clear enough in her body language that mixed with the guilt she felt for the fact she had almost given away her integrity to a stranger. He wondered if she still felt his finger prints across her skin, the feeling of his lips on hers and the lust he had stirred up inside her.

Now she had no one left to turn to; her last friend had turned his back on her. It was only a matter of time before she found comfort in the arms of another stranger. It was only a matter of time before she took a man to bed and this time held nothing back letting him have what was supposed to belong to no one but her husband...


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to reply to your reviews- everything has been manic- my thesis is burying me in books and dust!

Also hello everyone from my new apartment- my life is currently in boxes… lots of boxes!

This chapter is set post 'Dead Air' – I hope you all like it, let me know what you think :-)

Ps. the man is Tyler Wynard! (FMN)

**Hide & Seek**

**(14)**

He watched as she tossed her things into her car an overwhelming emotion propelling them across the back seat. The wary look that had masked her features all day were like storms breaking as she had clocked out. There was no one to pretend for- the façade had melted into a haze of anger and anguish. Her dark hair moved around her face in the breeze that was passing Las Vegas by, the dimmed lights glistening on her pale skin. He was almost worried that her fragile frame would crumble completely under the pressure but like always she buried the things that were swirling above her head.

She rested her against the side of the door the metal cooling her skin- the flustered red of her cheeks visible even from this distance. Composing herself she climbed into the driver's seat cueing him to do the same wondering if she'd be heading home in a mood like this or somewhere she could drink herself almost unconscious. The only problem with the latter was that Gregory wasn't going to be there to pick her up off the floor.

He had made sure of that.

Her car pulled into the parking lot of one of the dives that made Sin City what it truly was; a paradise for the desperate. And, she was desperate. Her life had become almost painfully predictable- all of a sudden she had started to look around at what she had built and it seemed so empty. She most likely had never wanted to be a mother but perhaps she was suddenly regretting that decision- wishing she had given it more thought.

Maybe she wondered what her life would have been like had she stayed in San Francisco. Perhaps she would have met a man that would have built her the life she wanted to have these days. She wouldn't have had to put herself through the pain of long distance. The knowledge that maybe after all of this time she still loved her husband more than he loved her.

She was left clawing at what scraps she had left attempting to find something amongst the rubble that would save her.

He made his way inside the bar carefully timing his footsteps to make sure they were slower than hers. Sitting down in the corner he watched as she lingered by the bar for a few moments taking in all of the bottles that were lined up on the shelves. Her eyes lingered over the different vodka's indicating she had made her voice muttering it to the bar tender that had appeared in front of her. She tapped her nails against the bar as she waited casting her eyes over the people that had gathered.

The music was making the floors vibrate and he sensed that most of the people in the bar weren't fans of the noise that was filling the space but it didn't really matter. No one came there for the atmosphere. They were there pretending to be different people- leaving the features of their real lives at the door. Sara was no different to any of the other worn out people that were there.

She made eye contact with someone- her gaze focused as her lips curved into a sly smile- he searched amongst the crowd to find who had caught her eye.

The man he was met with seemed to surprise him as he took in the way he was leaning against the bar his arm clearly flexed. It surprised him that Sara had set her sights on such a man- he was the opposite of everything she had secured through marriage. The stranger's vanity was more than obvious- more than a few minutes had obviously been put into his appearance. His dark hair was neatly pushed back out of his face calling even more attention to his high cheek bones and clear blue eyes.

It was unlikely that he was an intellectual match for her- he was unlikely to challenge her the way Grissom did. He was also unlike to pine after her and admire her the way Gregory did. More likely was that he'd forget her time by the time he'd taken her clothes off. She'd just be another person to add to a long list of people.

But she probably knew that.

Despite her inaccurate judgement of his character he sensed that Sara Sidle had learnt at a young age that the only way to survive is to know people. To know the things that make them tick, the things that get under their skin and the things that make them weak. It was knowing these things that made sure you were in control- that you were on top of the situations that would build or break you.

He guessed Gilbert Grissom was the first time she had slipped up and let her guard down for another human being. He had pulled her out of her comfort zone. He had made her realise that perhaps she didn't want to be alone after all.

All of these years down the line she was alone.

He claimed that he was still with her, that they were still together, that she meant everything to him but still it was not enough to make him be there. That connection she had craved and wanted had melted into nothingness and it must have occurred to her more than once that love wasn't worth the risk.

And what the man who had now moved next to her was offering wasn't love at all. It was lust. It was a hit of a feeling that would remind her that despite everything she was still alive.

It had only been a matter of moments but he had already put his hands on her. He watched as his hand rested on her hip, leaning closer to her muttering something in her ear. Something that made her laugh. It was a strange thing to see her happy (or at least pretend to be happy). She threw her head back, her black hair changing colours beneath the neon lights, her dark eyes sparking to life, her skin glistening with perspiration caused by the heat.

She looked desirable in her strange, cold, unapproachable way. She was almost the same height as most of the men she encountered and almost always with a gun at her side. It astounded him that how many still were foolish enough to try. Though these days she seemed more than willing to let them have what they want.

He fished his wallet out of his pocket paying for the drink that was placed down on the bar for her watching as she took a sip of whatever vile concoction she had ordered. Her cheeks reddened at the attention but she didn't turn him away letting her battered ego indulge in what she presumed being wanted felt like.

The next few drinks seemed to pass by in a haze, their bodies slowly moving closer and closer together as they chatted. They were pressed together, huddled in the corner of the bar speaking in what he guessed where just whispers. From the way her expression changed he assumed she was telling him about her husband, twisting the gold ring around her finger out of habit. He sympathetically stroked her cheek, saying something that clearly flattered her.

Without warning he placed his lips on hers tenderly kissing her waiting for a response, a reaction for her telling him to go on or to stop. Sara hesitated for a moment not moving letting their lips touch as she closed her eyes attempting to process what was happening. She pulled away meeting his eye an honest silence settling between them. He took her hand into his own leading her towards the door as if the rest of the world had disappeared into quick sand and she was the only person he could ever want.

Once again he felt a pang of something he didn't want to acknowledge ringing inside of him echoing through his insides. It was the same feeling that had overcome him not long ago in the café where the sleazy doctor had attempted to pull her in to a date. It wasn't jealousy. Jealousy would require acknowledging that he felt something for her that wasn't anger. (He didn't want to care for her but for some reason he had developed some strange interest in her wellbeing.)

The feeling was frustration- or at least it was what he had decided to settle on. It got under his skin that she had underestimated _him_ and at the same time she seemed to hold these strangers in high regard. Men who were willing to use her and toss her aside. But still she batted her eyelashes, she smiled at them and indulged their flirtations with her. It exasperated him that she saw _them_ as better than him.

He had loved Edie. He had wanted to protect her, he wanted her to take care of her. But Sara didn't see that…


End file.
